Illusions

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Saw a movie wherein, the protagonist starts off as a war hero who is there to save victims of criminal psychology.

He fights, he struggles, he trusts, he confides and he believes he is going that extra mile to save them, liberate them from deceptive therapy. Only to realize that he was one among them. The whole hero role was his past and presently a farce.

He was the victim. He fights the truth being delusional. Crest fallen, shaken when the glass shatters.

You never know u are in illusion of a mirage until the glass yields to broken pieces. He accepts reality, finally, acknowledges it. The next day he is seen telling his psychiatrist that it’s time to find an escape route pal, the place is no good for the victims, what’s the plan!

Mending broken pieces to put back the cracked mirror. Sometimes, even a shattered glass fails to bring out someone from an illusion.

Either delusions are too powerful or reality hits so hard, it fails to set in.
There are withdrawal symptoms- you know you ll quit it but come back to it even more fiercely with an impetus. The cigarette thinks you are in love with it. Your mind knows you ll quit it sooner or later.

The Raindrops

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Sometime back, the clouds above could not blur the clouds in the heart. The downpour above could not stop the downpour of the eyes. The hazy evening sky could not overpower the haze in the mind. The cool breeze could not pacify the irradiating heart. The drizzle added to the mental burden.

Until now!

Now changed it. Now did not dwell on yesterday. Now was not based on building tomorrow. Now was a moment.

The storm preceeded it. The bumping thunder, the whisteling chilly wind, the fragrant wet soil, the dancing trees, the happy blue sky, the misty aura created the moment.

The raindrops felt like never before. Felt after ages, the water beads calmed the heart down. The mind clear like a crystal. The raindrops lifting the weight off the head. The weather breathed of a refresing scent. And the voice..the voice couldn’t help but bring the melodies to the lips. A karaoke of hearts. A balance of cold and warmth, one holding the other. A sight in the making. That was Now!

The yesterday was not bothering. The tomorrow was not tense. It was all in sync.

This is what the raindrops become. A revival, a renewal.. a different time.

3/4th of Existence

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What leads closer to manipulated aesthtics than natural?

Why a musical fountain more appealing than a waterfall so ethereal?

Spilled in Holi it is an irony,

For the famine stricken, a mirage so shiny

Not a pricey token, it’s value almost forgotten,

Divinity over the ages downtrodden

Had it been a currency, a coin, utter wastage might not been so prime

Natural cleanser smeared to the hilt,

Remaining quarter of our existence, try, not face a tilt

Coz taken for granted the transparent assimilator,

Can it be replaced for anything greater?

Crystal clear or the dewy mirror,

In cleansing rituals testify the wastage sheer

Thou ready for the effort at the well, tube well

Not in the least at washbasin vessel

In a country where tears are imported gas shells,

Shan’t a commodity as easy to sell

Coz like pastels maked the rainbow exist,

Cannot the rainbow compensate for white-light a bit

Its enough to witness the run-off, yet

Too late for the mars-escape to take-off….

 

Blurring the Lines

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It’s easy to compartmentalize our space. Be it physical or mental. There are stages of life; phases of life. Things begin at, or end at our comfort zones. It is convenient to bifurcate our space on such well-defined zones or boundaries, beyond which, the “comfort” would be out.

Comfort zones remind us of what is beyond easy to achieve or even think about. They are subconscious. No one sits down and decides or imposes limitations on self-realization, yet the zones are so powerful, encompassing the whole sphere of an individual’s existence. Beyond dreams, ambitions, achievements, risks and a sense of contentment, the comfort zones transcend our physical, intellectual, financial, mental and emotional spheres of being.  Sub consciously a person is ready to acknowledge and accept physical limitations and barriers in terms of strength, flexibility, endurance and stamina. In terms of intellectual, financial and a lot more areas, varied external influences bear the brunt of being called as determinants.

On mental level a person is not attuned to the range his/her zone provides to be comfortable in. For when a mental crisis strikes, there is no such thing as previous experience in a similar crisis. Mind continuously evolves. This particular trait never lets a person be ready to use a previous experience to deal with a new crisis at large. Mind heals. Mind de-clutters. Mind sets the rhythm back in track after some time of a crisis so that what remain are the memories in a big picture rather than the sentiments with the exact intensity, when they were actually experienced. This is the reason for all we try and believe to have “felt” a certain way before, “known” to deal with a certain situation before, “ignore” or “solve” as we knew it; we often come across as naïve and unknown to the new “similar” crisis looming over our heads.  Unlike physical limitations, overcoming mental barriers overwhelm and remind us of our incapabilities throwing down the veils of maturity and wisdom, we cover ourselves with. They sting us deep down since we realize there has never been a point of complete knowledge of how we fare in a particular mental crisis; because of the bygone times, a new perspective, a new atmosphere and a new hope has again camouflaged our mental selves in a comfort zone. Yet again we are entrapped in the vicious cycle of “fighting” and “fatiguing” ourselves till we let go. Unless we accept the presence of this cycle that erodes us of our peace of mind, we let the encounters persist.

It is this realization that a comfort zone DOES exist on a mental level too, may provide an insight into the road block responses to deal wih. It brings a new dawn of acknowledgement that a “similar” experience may not save from being caught in the web, unless one accepts, analyze and solve the existing problem. To come out of, or remain in the comfort zone should be a personal decision and not a compulsion. Identifying what is beyond one’s comfort and recognizing the need to move past this zone, to overcome the barriers may let one breathe relief in the upcoming crisis. Obviously crises never fail to surprise us, shock us or move us; knowledge of one’s own boundaries can surely provide armor to the thought process and conquering the zones.

Because life indeed begins at the end of our comfort zones.